Still trying to understand the professional world…..

Still trying to understand the professional world…..

When I came out of college and joined the organization, I saw many people around me manipulating stuff, using/trapping others for there benefit, giving long lectures on ‘working as we’. But I found them usually involved in “me” rather than”we”.

I always have the question why as kids we are though to be honest, hard working, caring. But when we are grown these terms are labeled as ‘stupid’. Why so much change in definition?

One of my Uncle shared a thought with me in response to my question why people in government office get involved in taking bribes. The answer was, even if one tries to be honest people around you will not allow. You will be transferred or trapped if you deny and there is always a family. It seemed genuine to me.

When I joined as fresher, I decided I will try hard to follow whatever I learned as kid and whatever my parents inculcate in me. I knew it would be very difficult to follow what I decided on because it was first time I was out to cocoon to see the real world. It would be me, my decision and my fight. I think many have the same thought/ determination that I have. But it’s a practical world maybe one day I have to follow the same path. But at least I can try to stick for longer duration than others…..

Looking back at my experiences……….I remember the first time I came across the reality of this world was when my best friend was resigning. She decided to look for a change as she wanted to stay near to her parent. Lots of attempts were made to stop her - With emotional traps, fear….The funniest part was the thought our HR shared ‘Girls can quit or change location only if they are getting married’. Maybe that HR was not lucky enough to have enjoyed a strong family bonding …. I really feel pity for her. The bitter part was when my leads stopped my friend from resigning on the date she wished by saying ‘we need talk’. Because of which she missed the notice period by one day. It needed special approval from our lead to relieve her one day of notice period. I know the hassle my friend has to face because of this. Our lead, who was so friendly, seemed to be so different and difficult to get approval from. I understand there might be some pressure from HR, some justification to be given but I never ever had expected this kind of behavior with a person at entry level.

A year spends with hard work and dedication…... I remember my seniors resigning and transitioning the work to me. I cancelled my leaves because of project work. I stayed back during Diwali and worked on the Diwali day. I was awarded organizational level award. I was chosen for the ‘Subject Matter Expert’ program. I was praised by my supervisor. I remember a comment I received from a person of other company – ‘You are doing good even though you have not completed two year in the industry’. I don’t know where all these got lost and why my leads forget this while rating me B grade. I was eagerly waiting, since it was the first time in my career I would receive rating but when I received it I was scattered. I spend the whole night crying trying to understand ‘Why’. Why I am rated like this? Why my parent taught me wrong that hard work pays? Do I need to keep faith on the assessment process?

The new assignment started with a new team. I could find a different set of people with different mind set, different work style. I was given a challenging tasks, of which no in my affinity had any experience. I was full of enthu and started with my work. Till the time I started with tasks I was of the opinion ‘Leaders are there for encouraging and boosting confidence’ and ‘Leadership was to use different approach on different type of people rather then setting a generic protocol for all’. But I realized my opinion about leadership was just ‘definition’. I found myself working with a lead who herself was so insecure. This made my lead see everyone below as irresponsible. I found my lead securing herself from any blame game and doubting her subordinate. I still couldn’t understand how a lead can attain goal by breaking the confidence of their subordinate.

God wanted me to see that it’s not everything bad/discouraging in this professional world. In my new assignment with my new lead I had my new learning. I met a leader in true sense. I know I will never ever have this experience again in my life. I have never seen him using same strategy for each and every people. And his key was to give confidence and stay in confidence. My lead never showed he cared; he just cared for his people. ‘You go ahead, I am there to support’ was the attitude he is carried. He motivates and creates opportunity for each team member to learn new things, take responsibility, and take rational risk. Working with him, I learned many think and It have turned my life. Thanks a Zillion to him. He let me see another aspect of professional life.

Moving ahead in career I am meeting kind of people who are manipulating stuff, who uses others. And People who cherish themselves by playing blame game…..But at last we all are Human, we all tend to be selfish, defensive, in secured…..It’s the blend of all these flavor that makes a human….But all these thoughts fills me with lots of confusion as to what is wrong? what is right? …..Why all try to strip off the innocence a fresher have? Why to strip off all the enthu, all the innovative thoughts…Finally remains a person who is defensive, who only know to feel jealous…..Why everyone has to be alike? Why can’t one retain his/her identity?……Today standing at this position I don’t know what I should teach my juniors- to give them support and let them see and feel their dreams or Shall I make them stand alone without nourishing them as they will ultimately have to see the ‘Same’ world…..

Mumbai in my dreams

Mumbai! Don’t know why I was always fascinated about this place. When I was a kid my Dad uses to read ‘Times Of India’, Mumbai edition. Since we were at Indore we use to receive the paper at noon. Daily I use to eagerly wait for the paper and was the first one to get hold of it. I liked all the ads related to estates, exhibition….Seeing those ads I always wish to stay in multi stored building; just to pep below, wondering how the world would look like from heights) .And I also wished I could attended any of the exhibition in Worli, Andheri …Maybe this has always created a strong bonding with the place, the place I which I have never seen. I grew up with the feeling with a strong determination – I will visit the place for once.
It was destiny that I got campus recruited in a company that was working out of Mumbai. I was very enthusiastic about coming to Mumbai. “I will visit Mumbai beach daily’.

“God allows us to experience the low points
of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way.
The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them.”

It was after I came to Mumbai, I could experience various aspects of life and learn from them.I faced the real life and tried to come out of the cocoon my dear one provided.

The first day I stepped in Mumbai. Hmmm….This is Mumbai; I was always eager to visit. I came here with two of my college mate, my papa and my friends Dad. We alighted in Borivali station. Our company had arranged accommodation at Andheri. We took a taxi and rided from Borivali to Andheri. It was my first glance of ‘City Of Dreams’.

I remember the first night I stayed in hotel without my parent near me. Till then I never stayed even a single night without them. I cried and decided I would go back. Many thought came in my mind - How can I leave the company? … I have committed so I would stay for one month….If I leave the company, what impression it will carry for my institution and will they visit any time there for campus recruitment…..

It was my first induction day in the company. In our HR sessions it seemed HR is speaking in French….timsheets, PAN card , CTC, Salary accounts…..What I am listening, I have to choose in which bank I want to open a salary account??? How can I do this? I can’t even call Daddy, I didn’t have cell phone. I have to tell them right now. I don’t have any idea which bank is good, which one is bad…..We were given the name of two banks to choose from. I decided based on the answer – In my experience, which out of the two banks has maximum number of ATM; that must be the preferred bank….

When I was leaving home, Mumma-Papa gave me 5000 bucks and one of their ATM card. Have I any time used ATM? I guess no … Have I any day spend money? No??? I never purchase anything by my own. Every time I knew what I need to purchase and how much I need to pay…And whatever I needed, I never needed to go out and purchase. In short – ‘I never knew how to manage and spend money. How much money I should keep in my purse? How much change I need to keep? When to make Change……’ In those days I was very reluctant to spend money I would ask my roommate to do all the daily shopping and I would pay her at end of month… I don’t how days changes, now I can purchase mobile phone, laptop…..alone.

Hmmm….One month has past …I didn’t even realize….I should wait for another month and then decide…….
I am still here in Mumbai.Learning and experiencing life, chasing my dreams….